


Confiserie d'Amour

by JThistle



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Girls, F/M, Love Triangle, Short Chapters, au: sugar sugar rune, no one in this story knows how to deal with stress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-11-28 21:26:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18213830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JThistle/pseuds/JThistle
Summary: Congratulations! You've been selected as a Queen's Candidate! That means you'll be travelling to the human world in order to collect human hearts and compete for the title of Queen of the Magic World!But be careful! Lately, the human world is filled with unrest -- a mysterious phantom killer has been at work. If you mess up, the consequences could be deadly . . . and remember, humans might regain their hearts, but you only have one. If someone manages to win your heart, you won't survive that either.Glory and status and riches on the one hand, humiliation and death on the other . . . we'll be cheering you on from the Magical World ★!





	1. note one | black heart (part one)

He was supposed to be an easy target.

. . . Though, when you thought about it like that, it made you sound heartless, or cruel, or shallow. Such was the nature of being a witch -- after all, to seriously love someone, to give up your heart for them, was a crime against the world of magic. And besides, human hearts grew back, over and over. He wouldn't even remember having fallen for you -- no one ever did.

Still, peaking over at him through your fingers again, as discretely as you could manage, you had to wonder if Hideki Ryuga had a heart. It was making you feel insecure, distinctly unsexy -- not that sex appeal had ever been your forte exactly, or like you'd been flaunting your body or giggling or whatever it was that Cherry did -- and kind of forgettable. Not that any of those were unusual feelings, but they were exacerbated by the fact that he didn't even have the ghostly outline of a yellow heart; not even a tinge of amber.

Sighing, you ran your fingers to cover up your hair -- just in case anyone caught what you were doing and thought it strange -- and dropped your hand to your desk.  
Next to you, the Goddess of Toh-oh herself catches your distraction, and gives you a sympathetic smile, "Someone on your mind?"

You jolt, sitting up straighter as though the professor had been the one to say something; on Kiyomi Takada's other side, you see Light Yagami's face twist in a brief tinge of annoyance.

There's another one with a cold heart. Though he seems to be growing close to Kiyomi -- even pursuing her -- whenever you try to catch a glimpse of his true feelings for her, you get nothing. Nada, zilch, empty static.

Kiyomi's heart, on the other hand, has moved from yellow into a pleasant, sunset orange -- and you suspect it will only continue to deepen into a blush red or a bruised purple by the time Light's done with her.

It's not like you have any room to judge, so even though you're beginning to think you and Kiyomi might make fast friends, maybe, if you learn this thing humans call social skills and psychologists call emotional intelligence -- even though you harbor some genuine affection for Kiyomi, you haven't tried confronting Light about it. Sometimes people are destined for heartbreak, and all you can do is be there for them when they fall.

Kiyomi follows your gaze to Light, who's gone back to carefully watching the lecture, and she interprets your stare in the most favorable light -- another sign that you might, in fact, make good friends, maybe, possibly, you think, "Oh, don't worry. He won't say anything."

She winks, and you offer her a tentative smile, take a deep breath, and let it out in a rush, "It's just . . . I know he's kind of an odd choice, but I can't think of how to get Mr. Ryuga to notice me."

There is a twinge of interest on Light's face, though does his best to hide it by staring carefully at the board; the only sign of interest is a brief stiffening of his shoulders.

Kiyomi misses it, so you pretend to miss it to.

Then again, the reason Kiyomi misses it is because she's craning her neck as delicately and subtly as possible to catch a glimpse of Hideki herself, ". . . Well, you've got a lot going for you, I think. Is this your first time trying to get a guy's attention?"

Luckily, all your blush does is confirm that your interest is genuine, even though it's caused by something else completely -- it's certainly not your first time trying to get a guy's attention. It's just the first time it's mattered.

You've been in the human world for a week, and so far Cherry is up by about a thousand Ecrure -- which means she has a lead of about a thousand points. The problem, for you, is that you're kind of a wallflower -- you always have been, you're sure you always will be, and at this point, the only reason you're still trying is because you don't want to return to the utter humiliation of not getting a single point.

A piss heart would be fine. Five points is better than zero.

"Y-yeah . . . ," you lie, "I've just never had time. You know, studying. . . ."

You've never really studied in your life. Magic has always come easily to you, so you've had more time to get lost in your head, daydreaming about all the things you'd do if you weren't expected to compete for the title of Queen.

But studying seems to be important to humans, and Kiyomi smiles ruefully, reaching out to pat you on the head.

"Hey, Takada," Light says; Kiyomi starts, but when you both look over at him, his expression is affectionate, even tender, "She's not a little kid."

"R-right," Kiyomi says, and as she moves, you lean back, sneaking your fingers up so you can peer between them.

Kiyomi's heart is definitely orange -- but this time you see something you've never noticed before, settling under Light's ribcage.

A shadow -- it could almost be mistaken for blue, but it's so dark, and it hasn't really crystallized yet, and you recognize it without really knowing how.

Light has a black heart growing under his skin.


	2. note two | heartbreak cafe (prologue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter brought to you by: Javert's Suicide, because Javert was absolutely the best character in Les Miserables.

No one has a lot of experience with black hearts -- even you and Cherry, who have been in the human world for a week, have only encountered one black heart. Worries about seeing on supplants any concerns you had over your score, and you find yourself scratching down code in your notebook instead of notes.

It's not like your grades in the human world matter, after all -- you've actually been contemplating purposefully tanking a few classes, in order to open up study date possibilities. You're not good with people, so you need every advantage you can get. Still, the classes you were expecting to tank weren't supposed to include any of your psychology curriculum, so it's kind of an issue this time.

Luckily, your code involves a lot of hearts, so when Kiyomi glances over at your notebook, she gives you a nudge and a reassuring smile, and moves on none the wiser.

After all, Hideki has started an argument with the teacher at some point -- an argument you're not paying attention to, because as soon as he opened his mouth you decided he was incorrect about everything involved in psychology, and tuned him out.

He's talking about something he read in a magazine article, compared to the textbooks the teacher's teaching from, after all.

The thing is, you can almost convince yourself that the black heart has nothing to do with Kiyomi; and even if it does, there's no real promise that it will turn out like the one Cherry and you encountered -- the one that reset your score to 0 -- and even if it does trying to interfere now could exacerbate things. You've been reading ahead in your psychology books, desperate to get an edge on this new world somehow or another, and there's been a section or two on crisis intervention that make you feel like you're just not equipped to handle it.

By the end of the class, you've concluded that the best course of action is to talk to Light directly.

Cherry disagrees vehemently.

"What?!" is her very passionate declaration.

A few other students, a few meters away, glance over at you, and she immediately turns a pretty shade of pink and ducks down. You think, since she's aquired a wand, it might be a glamour of some sort -- but then again, Cherry has always been the sort to blush easily; she's also the sort to get innocently startled by any attention, even though she's been the center of attention as long as you've known her.

Which isn't very long.

"It's a black heart!" she whispers fiercely, and jabs her fork at you, "I'll handle it! You shouldn't get involved!"

"You don't have good luck with this kind of thing," you reply, awkwardly, and she gives you a furious look, puffing her cheeks out.

"[Name]," she says firmly, "I've known you for a week and a half, but I refuse to see you like that ever again."

Your gaze shifts to the side; the wind picks up for a moment, ruffling your uniform, and rippling over the grass, and as your attention follows the shift in light, you're find yourself watching Light making his way over to the two of you.

Cherry stiffens, like she's not sure whether she's prepared to fight or run, and you reach over, grasping her hand with yours as reassuringly as you can manage. She's been putting on a brave face the last few days, but you're sure the mention of a black heart has put her on edge.

You can't check, with Light facing the two of you exactly, but you don't think it's likely he's showing black heart now anyway. You'll have to wait until he walks by -- or leaves, because now he's raising his hand in greeting, and you have a horrible feeling he's actually going to talk to you.

Or Cherry, which would be even worse right now -- but you can't give away being afraid of him. Someone with a black heart is dangerous and unpredictable.

"Good afternoon," Light says, "I hope I'm not interrupting."

"Not at all," you reply. Cherry says nothing, staring up at him in sullen silence. Light glances at her, and then gives her a soft smile.

You're rather stricken by it, and almost move to shield her from him.

"Cherry Pie, right?" he asks, "My father's the head of police in this jurisdiction. I heard about what happened."

Your heart feels like it's stuttering to a stop. Cherry stiffens, and you suddenly decide you don't care if it comes off weird or gives you away -- you need to know now, and he's distracted enough with reassuring Cherry that you might be able to get away with it, raising your hand up to peak through your two fingers.

His heart is nowhere in sight.

Sighing in relief, you give Cherry's hand a reassuring squeeze, and feel her relax.

"R-Right. . . " she says, and now that she knows he's not going to hurt her, she seems determined to play tough, "Well, that's what happens when you're not careful, right?"

Something flickers across Light's face, too fast to read -- tension, but is it anger? Digust? Something else? Even knowing his heart isn't black at this moment, you're not sure what to think of him.

"I don't think the victim should ever be held accountable for a crime," Light says firmly, "Be more careful, but you shouldn't have to pretend to be strong."  
His words seem to touch Cherry's heart; you feel her fingers tighten around yours.

"That's not what I'm here to talk about though," he continues, "Do you mind if I steal your friend really quick?"

"Me?" you ask, pointing to yourself.

Light gives you a wry, charming smile, "Is it a problem?"

Shaking your head, you stand as gracefully as possible, "No, not at all."

He leads you only a few feet away; over his shoulder, you can see Cherry keeping an eye on his heart for you, and you breathe a sigh of relief.

"So," he says, "You're trying to get Hideki's attention, huh?"

"Ah!" you'd totally forgotten about that by this point, and you hurry to affect the mannerisms of a crush, before you realize you're probably overcompensating. Light takes your flustered reaction with a good nature and a fair bit of patience, chuckling to himself as you try to compose yourself.

"Takada filled me in on the details," he says, "I'd like to help. He's a tough one to crack."

"I would appreciate any advice," you agree, "I bumped into him earlier, and my books went everywhere and he didn't even stop to help."

"That sounds like him," Light gives you a puzzled stare, ". . . Why exactly do you like him?"

"Because . . . " you floundered for an answer, "I guess . . . he feels familiar?"

Light gave you a strange, questioning look, and in the awkward silence, you found yourself hurrying to fill in the blanks, "I mean, he and I are sort of alike, aren't we? We're both kind of awkward . . . ."

Light's lips turn up at one corner, and he chuckles again, raising his hand as though he might cover his mouth.

"I suppose," he agrees cheerfully, "Well, if you're sure about this, I'll see if I can arrange something. Hideki and I work pretty closely together, since we're both class representatives. Let's meet up after class to come up with a plan."

"A plan . . . ?"

Light genuinely seemed excited now, clenching his fist almost energetically, and grinning, "Yeah! I need something to do other than study, anyway."

"O-okay," you weren't sure how to process this sudden change; you also weren't sure whether or not it was a good idea to be alone with him, "Maybe Ms. Takada could come along . . . ?"

Light waved that off quickly, "Let's meet up just you and I. There's a cafe on campus we could go to -- it's busy enough that it won't look weird."

You caught the implication behind his words -- it's busy enough that you won't need to feel unsafe, and took a deep breath.

What the heck -- if anything bad happened, it wasn't like you couldn't do a little magic, right . . . ?

"Alright!" you said, forcing yourself to sound more enthusiastic than you felt, "Where should we meet up?"


	3. Interlude | Watchers in the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I guess I have a side pairing.
> 
> (Side note: Ryuk is the most inattentive fuck ever; thank you for this meaningless exposition on how much life sucks, Ryuk, but please try and stay focused. You're missing the important bits.)

**Interlude**  
**Watchers in the Shadows**

Cherry Pie was many things: elegant, poised, and good at playing whatever part she was expected. She was friendly and acted just ditsy enough to win people over -- especially people who might provide her with hearts; she got other people to do her homework, and thank her for the privilege, and she had already collected a heart from one of her teachers, after attending this strange human university for less than a week.

But she was not irresponsible.

In fact, it could be argued that the number one thing about her, the thing she would be remembered for the way Cleopatra was remembered for her beauty or Mother Teresa for her compassion, was that she took responsibility for everyone.

The man who had developed such a dark heart so quickly, who she hadn't been able to help.

You, when you'd collected that heart even though it should have been her burden; you when you'd used that heart to spirit them away, because she hadn't been helping you to collect hearts when you were obviously struggling.

Light, who you had said was beginning to develop a black heart, and who was haunted by a winged monster no one else could see.

As she sat on the blanket she'd brought specifically so the two of you could picnic properly, chin propped in her hand so she could keep an eye on the conversation properly without anyone noticing anything off, her mind was whirring.

A black heart, a monster, a killer on the loose -- the human world had gotten more dangerous since the last Queen selection. Her brain wanted to jumble everything together into a single pot, shake it around until she came up with the simplest answer, but she didn't have enough information yet to do so confidently, and so she waited.

It was when Light raised his hand up, as though to cover a laugh, that she saw it, flickering in and out of sight for just second.

It didn't seem to have anything to do with you; there was that.

But it was definitely a black heart; and as you and Light finished talking, she found her eyes traveling away from Light's shoulders, to the monster that lingered forever just a few steps behind him, a spot of storm clouds on a sunny day.

Their eyes met; Cherry's gaze quickly continued moving, her neck twisting to make it obvious, but she heard a strange, ominous laugh across the grass, and she had a sneaking suspicion that she hadn't moved on quite fast enough.

X

Ryuk had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what Light was up to, so he was only half paying attention to the conversation as Light wrapped things up -- and probably by the end of the afternoon, wrapped the poor, unsuspecting girl around his little finger -- because honestly, he was waiting for the denouement anything, that sweet moment when everyone realized that everything was falling apart, when the house of cards Light was building came tumbling down.

There were parts of that process that were fascinating -- watching Light move further and further away from his own definition of "decent person", watching him put up walls between the family he claimed to care about so much. Watching him isolate himself was like watching a suicidal man wrap the noose around his own neck, and Ryuk observed with a clinical, amused detachment. Light was a dead man walking, and he didn't even realize it.

And the high school level drama was interesting, when it peaked -- but the set up was kind of boring. And Light had no idea what he was getting into, really, which meant he wasn't panicking when he should have been. Ryuk was considering telling him -- that there were a couple of girls who looked human, but didn't have names or expiration dates the way humans should have, that the wallflower Light thought he was talking to was dangerous because if she found out what was going on, Light wasn't going to be able to do anything about it -- but when he did, he wanted to time it for the maximum amount of internal screaming.

Which wasn't now -- right now, if he said something, Light could just make an excuse and cancel the coffee shop date by the end of the day. It probably wouldn't be until L started keeping [Name] around on his own that Ryuk would say anything, because then Light would have to deal with the consequences of his actions, and that was much more fun.

For now, though, he let himself look around -- at all the names and faces he had no intention of using, because he had enough years left of his life that he'd be back to his usual routine long before he had to worry about it.

Only a few feet away was the other girl who wasn't human, keeping an eye on Light; Ryuk felt his grin widen as he realized at least one of them was already suspicious of Light's intentions. To anyone else, he imagined she looked rather like a stick of bubblegum, with tumultuous pink hair that she'd carefully piled on top of her head, big, doll-like blue eyes that seemed lavender in the right light, red, red lips like candy apples.

She looked like someone you underestimated; Ryuk had been around long enough to know that she carried herself like a hunter, like someone who wouldn't hesitate to get blood on her hands, and wouldn't regret it afterwards, and his grin broadened.

She was just the kind of person to give Light a run for his money, he supposed. Maybe he would tell Light about them sooner than later.

Especially when she finally relaxed, eyes sliding away from Light, and resting, ever so briefly, on Ryuk himself.

And that certainly made things interesting, didn't it?


	4. Interlude | Broken Princes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a little worried about L's characterization here -- I wanted to touch on his worries, but there wasn't much room to be deliberative about it, so they're a bit closer to the surface than I think these concerns actually are with him in canon -- but this chapter should make it clear what kind of L we're dealing with, in the same way as the last chapter should have made it clear what kind of Light I'm gonna give you.

**Interlude**   
**Broken Princes**

[Name] reminded him a little bit of Sayu; the thought occurred to him approximately fifteen minutes before Ryuk decided to drop a bomb on him that ruined that image completely; she was a little vulnerable, and earnest, and clearly meant well. He imagined she followed pop idols after school, or read comics -- something quiet and safe, away from the harshness of the world, and there was a certain satisfaction in that mental picture.

L wanted to talk to him about the case, so he arranged to meet up with L at the same cafe shop he was going to take [Name] to -- incidentally, the same one he and L had met up at before.

He had a pretty decent idea of where he was going with this; he'd explain to L that he'd promised to show [Name] around, and arrange for them to have a coffee together before he and L focused on the case; if L asked him about it afterwards, he'd just tell L she liked him and he hadn't been able to say no to introducing them, and apologize for derailing discussing the case -- but since it was only a few moments, he'd thought it would be fine.

And it would also give him time to size up L's intentions while L was distracted by [Names] presumably awkwardly sincere attempts to flirt.

It was good to have an unwitting ally.

X

L, for his part, had left school early again; after all, he was only attending to keep an eye on Light, and for the most part, Light didn't really do anything all that fascinating, and someone else was capable of keeping an eye on him while L stewed in the coffee shop he'd be meeting Light at, eating too many sugar cubes and mulling things over.  
Really, his job was more to stir the pot; changing the variables of Light's life just enough that Light would be thrown off and make some sort of mistake -- though obviously not enough for Light to justify doing something that allowed him to escape.

L had thought doing fieldwork might be exciting, but it wasn't; dropping another sugar into his tea, and then not drinking it, he found his mind not on the case at hand -- which had been a welcome distraction until now -- but rather on things he found himself usually brooding about.

Watari, once, had suggested that perhaps L was lonely -- that he wanted someone he could relate to, or someone who could keep up with him. L had rejected that idea then, and he continued to reject it now -- but there was a sting in his heart that reminded him that even if he told himself otherwise, Watari was right.

University life, in the brief doses he could tolerate it, had only made this clearer -- he dropped another sugar in his tea, glancing at the clock -- and he was thinking, now, that perhaps he was jealous of Light -- of the easy way Light allowed people in.

So perhaps he would have been irritated already, when Light arrived a minute later than L had expected him; maybe he would have been frustrated by Light's derailing his plans -- but there was that small sting in the pit of L's stomach that told him there was more to it than that.

Because Light arrived a minute later than anticipated, accompanied by a stranger, and there was a little part of L that said, in a nasty voice, _maybe you can't connect to anyone because there's something wrong with you._


	5. note three | heartbreak cafe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know have a 167(?) page essay on the psychology of binge eating disorders saved to my computer. I haven't read it through yet completely, and it makes my eyes weep to look at all the citations in the text, but I feel it might become useful.
> 
> I feel like at this point, I need to make an admission: I hate L, and I've hated him for most of my engagement with Death Note, because he puts the people around him down and doesn't bat an eyelid at literal torture or any of a myriad of small crimes. I am trying to treat his character fairly, though.
> 
> . . . That is to say, he's kind of a jerk in this chapter.

Light is really good at making this easy on you; which you would have appreciated more, if it weren't for your own doubts and concerns for your safety.

Cherry had asked you what he'd talked to you about; you could tell she was trying not to worry you, which you were pretty sure meant she'd seen the black heart herself, especially when she'd passed you a sleeping pill in the next class period.

"Worst case scenario, just put it in his mouth for him," she'd said, seriously, "Don't bother putting it in his drink or anything like that. It'll knock him out for at least twenty four hours."

The pill came packaged in a cutesy, cupcake shaped pendant -- almost exactly like the one you used to store hearts in before you sent them off to become ecrure; Light had commented on it, and the two of you had had a bit of a debate about whether or not it was the sort of thing Hideki would appreciate.

At the time, you hadn't really wondered why it was so relevant, but as Light holds the door open for you, and you see Hideki sitting in the booth across the room, your whole body freezes up; you hurry to hide the pendant under your shirt, despite Light's earlier assertation that it "gave you two something in common."

"Sorry, I should have said something," Light says lightly, as Hideki twists to give the two of you a look that you can only describe as murderous -- a look not unlike some of the men you see on the news at night, when the news caster inevitably talks about the Kira case. The bags under his eyes only make him look more like a serial killer, and you suddenly wonder why you thought he'd be an easy target, "Something came up that he wanted to talk to me about, but I figured we could all have coffee together, first."

Even if Cherry had seen a black heart under Light's shirt earlier, you suddenly feel much safer with his hand on your shoulder as he steers you over to the table than you do sitting across from Hideki, "Sorry I'm late."

Hideki looks up the clock, almost nonchalantly -- as though he's not clearly pissed off, "Not really."

He sits kind of funny, you note, as you slip into the booth; Light takes a seat next to Hideki, forcing him to move over just enough that you're not directly across from him, and when you give a sigh of relief, Light seems to take it as nerves, flashing you an encouraging smile, "This is [Name] -- she's in the psychology department."

"Oh?" Hideki is still in the process of rearranging himself -- shuffling back and forth to collect his tea, which is at least half sugar, and the sugar bowl, and a spoon.

"I thought you two would get along," Light continues conversationally, seeming not to mind the repeated intrusion on his personal space, "I know you wanted to talk about something important, but a quick coffee isn't out of the question, is it?"

Hideki makes a noncommittal, grumpy noise in the back of his throat, and drops another sugar cube into his tea.

"Earl grey?" you ask, "Isn't it a bit late for the caffeine?"

"I believe Yagami just said something about coffee," Hideki replies, not looking up at you, "Coffee has almost three times the caffeine level as black tea."

"Oh, that's a good point . . ." you reach up, knocking your head with your knuckles, "I shouldn't be saying anything, sorry."

There's an awkward silence while Light waved the waitress over; Hideki stared at you; you fidgeted with the shape of the pendant under your sweater; maybe you could just knock him out, make an excuse to Light, and forget you'd ever tried succeeding at anything ever in your life.

"Could we get another earl grey, please?" Light was saying next to you, "And one espresso . . ."

He turns to you now, all smiles to keep you at ease, "I take it you won't want a coffee?"

"Just hot chocolate, please," you reply, "Thank you!"

You glance at the waitress; she hasn't seemed to notice your temporary lapse in manners, and is quickly jotting down the order for your table, "Thank you very much! We'll have that for you in just a moment!"

"Thank you!" you hurry to say, and she flashes you a quick smile before hurrying back to the kitchen to pass on your order.

"There's caffeine in chocolate, you know," Hideki says; Light gives a startled laugh, like he's not sure what Hideki's angle is, and you turn back to him.

"Well, I guess we're all having caffeine," you say, amicably, and really wishing you'd never made a comment about the proper time to drink the proper teas in the first place, "I'm sorry, I'm not . . . used to people."

Hideki makes a flat, displeased noise and goes back to filling his teacup with sugar cubes, "I did mention I had to discuss something important with you, didn't I, Yagami?"

"Oh, don't mind me," you say, hurriedly, "I'll just drink my hot chocolate and go, you can . . . talk about whatever."

Hideki doesn't spare you a glance, "I find it suspicious that you'd bring someone here with you."

Light stiffens, "Mr. Ryuga, it's not like that. I'll explain everything later, okay?"

It's your turn to stiffen, and you give Light a _look_ ; the most venomous, don't-you-dare, you snake, how-could-you-even-suggest-that look you can muster, but it falls on blind eyes.

Instead, Hideki returns, "You're going to claim you took sympathy on Ms. [Name]'s misguided attempts to get my attention romantically, despite knowing it would be better for her heart for you to dissuade her."

You're about to say something to defend Light, even though he had just implied he was going to betray you, but Light's face contorts, his normally welcoming smile twisting into a grimace; for a moment, you think he's about to lose his temper.  
But then it's gone.

"Actually," Light says, breathing in deeply through his nose, "I thought it would be better for her heart if she saw with her own two eyes what kind of person you were, and I'd already agreed to meet her here. I didn't want to stand her up completely when I'd already interrupted her afternoon plans with Ms. Cherry."

He sends you an apologetic smile; you take that as your cue to leave, but before you do, you decide you are going to say something to Hideki, something to defend Light and honestly, something . . . .

Something to make it clear that he's not the only person with all the cards at the table, if that analogy made any sense. You don't know if it did. You're not an expert on human idioms.

"Mr. Yagami, thank you so much for your time. I'm sorry for distracting you and Ms. Takada throughout class today. I know your grades are _very important_ to you, and my troubles shouldn't have to distract you from that."

You bow quickly, before turning to Hideki, "And Mr. Ryuga, I understand that there is a certain stigma in asking for help when you need it, but sugar cravings are often related to psychological stress. Paired with an excessive amount of caffeine this late in the day, and I imagine you're pushing yourself too hard and then taking your frustrations out on the people around you, which in turn naturally makes it difficult to work with others, isolates you, and further increases the amount of stress in your life, making it difficult to work to your full potential. I would strongly recommend that if you have a problem with Mr. Yagami's behavior, you might take a moment to reflect on yourself and how your _own_ actions might be contributing to the problem, instead of pretending that getting under another person's skin makes you a better person than them. Have a nice day, I'm sorry to waste so much time on you."

With that, you turned around, not bothering to look back at them until you brushed shoulders with the waitress, at which point you _did_ whirl around, one last time, "And since they've already gone to the trouble of preparing my hot chocolate, go ahead and enjoy that as well as your ridiculous pile of sugar cubes, Mr. Hideki."

And that was that.


	6. note four | heartbreak cafe (epilogue)

Over the course of the walk home, you come to some conclusions:

First of all, whatever is going on with Light and Hideki is a little strange; why would it be such a cause for suspicion for Light to bring you along to class representative stuff?

Especially since Hideki was already so certain of your interest in him. He wouldn't have any reason to be suspicious of Light since he already knew what was going on . . . unless he thought Light was trying to use you to distract him?

(By the time you get home, your head hurts from going around in circles.)

Second of all, Light is very nice, and if he has a black heart, you want to help him with that, rather than leaving him to suffer. Black hearts signify hatred and jealousy, but what you've been learning about humans is that, unlike witches and wizards, they're social creatures who bond with each other because they're built for teamwork and cooperation. Hatred and jealousy must be practically unthinkable emotions for them.

(Of course, you might just be grateful that Light had the decency to at least act like you weren't a total idiot, instead of brushing you off the way Hideki did.)

Third of all, you're not giving up on Hideki.

Maybe if it had been a normal crush, you would have -- you hoped, anyway. You didn't know much about crushes, or boys, or any of that stuff, and on this particular afternoon, you absolutely did not care. The crucial thing was, however, that it was not a crush. It was now not only a matter of your pride, and vengeance, and principle, but also something you had set out to do and you were going to finish.

It was, in short, a contest.

So when you open the door of the apartment you shared with Cherry to find her waiting for you, the first words out of your mouth are, "Hideki's a huge jerk and I'm going to crush him."

You then go to bed with a headache and wake up with a fever. Cherry tuts over you the entire morning, calling someone up to take notes for her morning classes while she tends to you until she's certain you'll recover on your own.

Sometimes, you think in between fever dreams, Cherry misdirects her tendency to worry over people; normally when she's avoiding dealing with something else.

But by the time you wake up coherent enough to talk about things with her, she's taken off to her afternoon classes, leaving behind a note and some rice porridge, which you pick at while you ponder what she could be hiding from you -- a lot, you suppose, since you've only known her a week -- and how, exactly, you're supposed to win Hideki over after you called him an asshole to his face.

When the doorbell rings in the early evening, you're surprised to find it's for you -- Light Yagami smiles when you greet him, holding out what looks like one of Kiyomi's notebooks.

"Ms. Takada took notes for you," he says, smiling winsomely, "She was worried."

"I'm sorry," are the first words out of your mouth, and you lower your head in an exhausted sort-of bow; Light waves you off.

"There's no need to be so formal," he says, "May I come in? I want to talk to you about what happened."

You oblige, feeling a little relieved; he was there, so it's not a matter of rehashing word for word where you messed up or where you should have done something different; you shut the door behind him as he's taking off his shoes, feeling a cold draft brush over your skin -- an eerie reminder that despite the sunlight, it's still winter.

"I shouldn't have been so rude with him," you say, "I ruined everything."

Light starts, glancing up at you from the shoes he's placed neatly by the wall, "You're still interested in him?"

"Well . . . " how are you supposed to explain this to a normal person? "I want him to regret looking down at me like that."

Light chuckles, an unexpected reaction until he says, "I think he already does. If you're still interested in him, I think you could be a good influence."

His words are soothing, and you feel your shoulders relax, "Can I ask what it was you two were going to talk about?"

Something passes over his face; a moment later, he follows through on the expression properly, grimacing, "It's not something I can talk about, sorry."

"It's got nothing to do with school, does it?" you say, unable to keep the bitterness from your voice, "I had a feeling. I won't pry any more."

Light's smile seems more relaxed than usual; it's a weird feeling -- like your brain compares it to all the smiles he's had in the past and realizes just how much he's been faking -- and your heart suddenly hurts a little. He's carrying something heavy on his shoulders -- that's what you realize in that moment -- and you really do want to help him.

"Do you want some coffee?" you ask, "Cherry bought a drip machine when we moved in, and it's pretty easy to use. I haven't messed it up yet, at least!"

Light's laugh is good natured, as he follows you into the kitchen, "I take it you're not a good cook?"

"I'm . . . I'm learning," you reply, "It's not like back at home when there was always someone else to do the cooking."

"You must have had a good relationship with your mother," he says.

A mother. . . 

There was no mother in the old house you lived in; there wasn't a father either -- just dusty drapes and vintage furniture, and magic spells to keep everything clean on it's own. It wasn't that people in the magical world didn't have parents -- but you lived on your own for a long time before coming here.

You liked living with Cherry much better.

If he notices the way you still, he doesn't press; but you think he does notice, because he takes over the drip machine, "I think I know how to use this. What kind of coffee do you like? I'll show you how to make your favorite when you get up in the morning."


	7. Interlude | History

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I messed up in my timeline last chapter and thought that the date in-universe was still February . . . [Name] said something about winter in her internal monologue, but this actually begins April 12th. My apologies!

**Interlude**  
**History**

  
L does not attend university the next day -- which had been the initial plan, and which everyone had known was the initial plan, because if he spent too much time at university then who exactly was going to pick up the slack back at headquarters?

He gets back to his motel/headquarters after coffee with Light, and spends the rest of the afternoon going through files, and planning on eating more cake -- though he finds he's less enthusiastic about it than normal, his enthusiasm replaced by an anxious sort of edge somewhere under his ribcage.

He doesn't let that edge become a coherent thought; consciously, he knows he's avoiding something and that facing that something might be more productive in the long run, but he can't quite seem to let his guard down enough to do so, and so he puts it out of his head entirely and takes out his frustration on Matsuda, who seems to be more annoying than usual.

Once everyone has left for the night, he continues doing the same thing for about fifteen minutes before giving up and hacking into the student directory for To-Oh University, scrolling down until he finds the name he's looking for -- [Surname], [Name] -- and copies the associated unflattering image into a separate document.

Then he begins crawling the internet for any trace of her; when he doesn't find anything within the first fifteen minutes, he becomes intrigued. He tries another search method; neither name nor face bring up anything prior to April 5th.

It gets a little stranger when he realizes that there's no evidence she even took the entrance exam; he looses another half hour there before he's sufficiently convinced that there's no test results associated with her because there was no test.

It's _fascinating_.

(Not in the sense that it's more interesting than the Kira case, because obviously there's a lot less thrills in a single student arriving at university from no where with no trace than there are in a mysterious force passing judgement on the unworthy, but it's still good stuff. Urban legends are made about this kind of thing.)

He's still thinking about her when Watari brings him coffee; neither of them talk about the girl in the To-Oh uniform on his screen; Watari doesn't ask questions and L doesn't volunteer information.

But L can't quite help himself from being enigmatic about the matter, either, and as Watari his pouring him tea, he asks, "What do you suppose it takes to disappear from the world completely, in this modern age?"

Watari doesn't glance at him as he answers, "Perhaps to not be in it in the first place."

That's that.

If L is smiling when Watari leaves the room, he doesn't notice.


	8. note five | study date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if this is the right twist or if it's in the right place; honestly, I don't know what I'm going to write from one chapter to the next.
> 
> It certainly means Light will need to lie down for a while.

After Light finishes experimenting with the drip machine -- which he takes to naturally enough that you figure he probably just has one at home or something -- the two of you migrate to the living room to go over Kiyomi's notes.

"Do you mind if we turn on the news?" Light asks, with a cheerful smile, "I like having the background noise."

"Oh, sure," you reply, "Do you have a preferred station?"

"Not really," he answers, pulling out his textbook, "Sakura TV would be fine."

You can't help wrinkling your nose a little, but you don't argue with his choice. In your experience, Sakura TV tends to be inaccurate or willfully dishonest -- you're not quite sure which. Cherry calls them "sensationalist" and always changes the channel, and you honestly don't blame her -- even if they were reporting honestly and accurately, there's always an emotional undercurrent you can't block out that puts you on edge.

The material your class is focused on right now is mostly about stress -- a substantial amount of which is on "personal stress management", a topic you're growing to hate.

It seems like it's just a way for the school to justify keeping its students stressed, and endorsing a system that continues to cause that same stress throughout the course of their lives, even while it educates you on just how much damage that stress is doing to your system. It's like a torture technitian cutting you open, and telling you just how much your body is going to struggle to heal, so make sure to put clean bandages every morning and every night and try to avoid lifting heavy objects.

Light doesn't seem to pay much attention to your sour expression until about half an hour in, when he chuckles to himself. You look up to find him gazing at you in a strange way, his chin propped in his hand, lips tilted in a smile, "You really take your studies seriously, don't you?"

Startled, you cover your face with your hands, hoping you're not turning red -- that would sure showcase how inexperienced you are with guys, after all -- but realize quickly that that's actually probably a good way to check and see what his emotional state really is . . . .

He laughs to himself again -- a good natured laugh that is oblivious to your embarrassment -- and when you peak at his chest, you're surprised to find a glimmer of amber, the color of honey.

Is that . . . because of you?

"I'm sorry," he says, finally, and you peak up over your fingers at him, hoping he didn't catch you staring somewhere weird, "I was just thinking about what you sad to Mr. Ryuga yesterday -- you read ahead already, didn't you?"

You'd gotten through the first five chapters of your textbook before you started class, actually -- Cherry had even helped quiz you, though she would say again and again that neither of you were there for grades, so you didn't have to push yourself so hard. Still, you didn't really understand people -- you'd been hoping the chapters on social psychology and the like would help you with figuring them out.

"I was worried about not being able to keep up," is the only way you can think to explain this; when you're finally sure that your face is no longer overheating, you drop your hands, looking down at Kiyomi's notes, "But psychology is definitely easier than mathematics and history. . . ."

"Oh," Light seems pleased by this, "Would you like me to help with those? I did get a perfect score on my exams . . . . "

All of them. You remember.

"You don't have to," you reply, even though there's a voice in the back of your head screaming at you that this is the perfect chance to collect a heart, "I don't want to cause any trouble."

"Don't worry, I'm free," Light replies, "Well, barring something else coming up, anyway. I'll be free for a while, and studying with someone else always makes it easier in the long run, right? We can cover for each other's weaknesses."

"Well. . . " you apologize to Kiyomi, deep in your heart -- but then again, you suppose it won't matter. You'll nurture his heart until it becomes a good investment, and then collect it, and he'll go back to Kiyomi none the wiser, "I'd definitely appreciate it . . . ."

Light beams, "Great. We can start on math tomorrow."

His eyes slip over to the grandfather clock Cherry had acquired from . . . somewhere . . . when you first moved in, and he starts. Something about the motion feels a little off, but you can't quite put your finger on it, and he smiles again, looking apologetic, "I'd better get going for today, though. I need to drop . . . "

Suddenly, he trails off. His expression drops for just a moment, and he looks a little depressed -- but then he forces himself to smile, almost ruefully, "Well, I have to make a stop on the way home."

"Would you like me to walk with you?"

The words come out of your mouth before you have a chance to think them over, and Light looks startled. You feel yourself starting to blush again, and bury your face in your hands just as Light starts to laugh again.

"Isn't that a little backwards?" he asks, "I'll be fine -- but it's getting dark soon, so you should stay here, okay?"

". . . Okay," you wonder if you should bring it up, and then decide you've already embarrassed yourself enough and go for it, "You just seemed a little down for a moment . . . ."

Light passes his hand over his face, as though bothered to know how much he'd given away; he doesn't meet your eyes as he replies, "Well, truthfully . . . my father ended up in the hospital a few days ago, from overwork. It's why I wanted to go over your notes with you in person. Studying this by myself would make me worry. . . ."

"I'm sorry," you say, unable to think of anything else, "I'm sure seeing you will help him recover, though! Loved ones are very important for helping us to center ourselves!"

You're really proud of yourself for saying "us" instead of "humans"; Light smiles at you, a tired sort of half-smile.

"You're right," he says, "Thank you . . ."

Trailing off, he closes his notebooks and gets to his feet, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah!" you reply, getting to your feet as well, "I'm feeling much better, so --"

The door opens before you can finish that thought; you turn your head, and feel a cold breeze ruffle your hair; moments later, Cherry makes her way in, looking exhausted as ever -- until she catches sight of Light.

Immediately, she stiffens, looking alert; you see her hand stray to her bag, but her eyes go to the space over Light's shoulder.

"Sugar sugar rune," she says; you feel your eyes go wide, and Light tenses beside you, unsure what to expect, "Let everything in this room be contained."

The door slams shut; the windows snap down -- and beyond that, you feel Cherry's magic -- a sweet, glittery pink, if you were to describe it with your physical senses -- surround the apartment the two of you are leasing -- for a brief moment, there is just silence and the smell of fruit and perfume. You glance between Light and Cherry, not sure what to think.

Light's eyes go wide, and Cherry speaks up, as though you're not in the room, "So you _can_ see it too."


	9. note six | black heart (part two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the amount of erased memories that happens in both Death Note *and* Sugar Sugar Rune, I suppose something like this was to be expected . . . .

It would be unnerving enough for you to watch Cherry talking to herself -- arguing back and forth about something showing itself, and what do you mean you can't. If it weren't for Light's strange behavior just before, you would think she had just completely lost it. Stress, you would tell your handler, it must have been all that stress they were teaching you about.

Instead, it's even more unnerving to sit on the couch next to Light, who hasn't said a word one way or another; he took a moment to call his mother and apologize for not being able to visit his father, claiming that he needed to help out with a study group, and then settled on the couch, looking completely at ease . . . though the tension radiating from him was palpable enough that you'd eventually moved to sitting on the furthest arm of the couch. Regardless of how things went from here, you no longer felt confident about getting a heart from him. You should have just settled for the piss colored heart from before.

And Cherry continued to argue with herself . . . or with an invisible presence that she and Light knew about, but that you remained oblivious to.

Finally, Light speaks up, "So . . . you two aren't normal people."

"Oh, um. . . " you're not really sure how to answer that; you're pretty sure it's not a good idea to let people know that witches (and wizards) exist. There's probably a law against it, ". . . Normal is a social construct . . . ?"

Light glances over at you; you can tell something has changed, indescribably, between the two of you. Whatever it is Cherry knows that you don't, it's something big, something like the last step before the edge of a cliff.

"I don't really know what's going on," you say, quickly, "I don't . . . know what you mean by normal people."

Light still seems troubled; taciturn -- the friendly facade he was wearing before reveals itself, in this moment, to be just that -- a fake face meant to interface with fake people, like you, or like Cherry.

People who don't belong; cuckoos skating by in human lives without really understanding what they're dealing with.

"We're . . . not from this world," you find yourself saying, like you need to justify yourself; you know you shouldn't be saying anything, but your heart is hammering underneathe your rib cage, and your thoughts are hammering behind your skull, like there's a riot in your brain, "But . . . in our world, we're normal people."

"Don't tell him anything," Cherry says, "He's just a human -- we need to take care of the thing that's been following him around, and he won't remember a word of this. Right, Ryuk?"

Light glances to the same spot Cherry's speaking to without needing to look at her -- whatever she's talking to, he can see it too.

But you can't.

_This isn't fair._

The thought is a whisper; it's quieter than all the other thoughts crowding around in your head; but it's distinct because it's a whole thought. It makes itself known because it's clear and precise and a simple division between what should be and what is.

This isn't fair.

Sure, you've been lagging behind. Sure, Cherry has been taking care of you more than anything else, and you doubt you're gonna be in this competition for much longer.

Sure, it's reasonable because she has more magic and can get more magic.

But . . . it's not fair.

"I don't know what's going on," you say again, more firmly, looking between them both, "So I don't know what the best decision to make is."

Light quirks an eyebrow.

Cherry hesitates.

"[Name]. . . ," she says, finally, ". . . I don't know what to tell you. There's a monster that's been following around Mr. Yagami this whole time. I suspect there's a connection between Mr. Yagami and the Kira case that's been on the news since we arrived. . . ."

"So you're corroborating her claim that the two of you came from another world," Light interrupts, "What are you here for?"

Cherry hesitates; she obviously doesn't trust Light, and you suppose that's certainly fair -- especially if she has reason to believe he's connected to Kira.  
But it's also foolish to assume you can get information without giving any first.

"We're here to compete for the title of Queen of the Magical World," you reply, "We collect human hearts and turn them into ecrure, which we can then use to fuel our magic, and the magic of our world. There's loads of witches and wizards like us throughout the human world right now, because our world subsists on the emotional energy humans give off when they fall in love."

Whatever Light was expecting to hear, you don't think that was it. He looks at you for a long, slow moment, and then looks at the space occupied by the phantom you know as Ryuk, and then at Cherry.

"I have nothing to do with that," he says, finally, "If you stay out of my way, I'll stay out of yours."

". . . " Cherry seems to be considering the merits of this, because she's silent and pensive -- at least until she turns to glare at nowhere, and finally turns back to Light, "Then I have one question for you -- are you associated with the Kira case at all?"

Light exhales slowly through his nose, thinking it through; since he's not focused on you, you take a moment to peak at his chest through your fingers.

A black heart. Solid, compared to the one you saw the other day.

Cherry's got an interesting talent for accruing those, you think.

But it's an ace for you -- you'll get as much information from him as possible, then claim the black heart that should belong to Cherry. If it's useful to protect someone else, then it's worth the sacrifice, isn't it?

Especially when Cherry has been your first and only friend after so long holed up behind those dusty old curtains.

"I was approached about a week ago by an agent claiming to be L," Light says, finally, "I've agreed to help with solving the case, despite being under suspicion myself."

So he is Kira.

The thought resonates between you and Cherry as though the two of you have a psychic link, and you share a meaningful glance.

"And how do you expect us to just overlook that?" Cherry demands, hotheaded as ever; color has risen into her cheeks from outrage, "Between the death god following you around, and the mysterious powers of Kira . . . it's obvious that --"

Light moves faster than you -- he's pushed himself from the sofa and lunged at Cherry before you can stop him; his hands grip both of her wrists, and he backs her against the wall; his anger is a palpable thing.

You do the only thing you can do -- just like the third night after you'd arrived, you call out, "Sugar Sugar Rune . . .Give me your heart!"

Your magic is [flavor]-y and sweet, tinted [color], glittering like a sea of diamonds or cheap confetti, but you don't feel it for very long. It's quickly overwhelmed by a different feeling -- all the hatred in Light's heart flows into you, suddenly, and it feels like you're burning, or like you've swallowed thorns; his black heart falls into your hands, and you clutch at it because you have to, you have to keep it under control and you have to keep yourself and Cherry safe, but it feels like grasping something covered in pins.

Light slumps against Cherry's body, and she hurries to shove him away; he staggers, collapsing against the wall and then slipping down to the floor.

For a brief, strange minute, you feel like you can hear laughter, in a voice you can't recognize, but all you can really think is how much trouble you're going to be in.

Cherry crouches down next to you, "[Name]! What did you do?"

"He . . . " you can't get the words out; your tongue feels swollen; catching a black heart like this is like willfully swallowing poison, but like repeated doses, you find that it's not nearly as agonizing as it was the first time. Still, you're on your knees, and struggling to breathe, "He was going to . . . he won't remember this way, right. . . ?"

"You idiot," Cherry is saying, "You shouldn't just trust people like that. You're gonna get in so much trouble . . . !"

"It's okay," the effects of the black heart are fading now, and your hearing is getting a little better, "We'll tell him he must have fallen asleep while he and I were studying; I'll walk him home. It'll be fine . . . and you and I can talk about thing when I get back, okay?"

There are tears in Cherry's eyes, and you reach up, patting her cheek, "It's going to be okay. If we're really dealing with the man behind Kira, I'm sure the council will understand."

Still, it's your second black heart in less than a week . . . you do have to wonder how much understanding you'll need.

And if Cherry can't let go of the Kira thing . . . you have to wonder what exactly is going to become of your relationship with Light.


	10. note seven | city at night

It doesn't take too long for Light to wake up; as you anticipated, he doesn't seem to remember Cherry's arrival -- though he does keep glancing off to the side, at what you can only assume is Ryuk, and whatever Ryuk is doing seems to irritate him.

"You fell asleep before Cherry got home," you say, "I'm sorry. . . I appreciate you offering to stay and study with me, and even calling your dad to let him know, but aren't you pushing yourself too hard, Mr. Yagami?"

Now you just need to not give him any time to think; you hesitate for just long enough for him to think you're giving him time to respond, and then continue on before he actually can, "I know my grades are really terrible, but you shouldn't worry about helping me study. I don't want to be a burden on you, okay? Let's just get you home for now. You need rest."

He seems kind of dazed, but allows you to lead him up off the sofa; allows you to call out to another room -- where Cherry has sequestered herself away so that you can fix things and she doesn't have to, "Cherry, we're going out for a bit!"

"Stay safe!" she calls back, and Light doesn't argue.

He does press his fingers against his temple when he thinks you're not looking, and you say, hurriedly, "I've read somewhere that temple pain is generally a stress related headache."

". . . ," for a moment, you think he'll say something, but he doesn't; just puts on a fake smile _(for interfacing with fake people)_ and lets you lead him to the doorstep; the two of you get your shoes on in silence; by the time you're out the door, Light is walking on his own, though he still seems a little wobbly.

Even knowing that he's Kira, it seems that there was a lot of energy invested in that heart -- a heart that grew too fast and too intensely for it to just be based in hurt pride or a need for control.

Or maybe you're being optimistic.

Maybe you just want to believe the best in people.

Your hands still sting.

The streets are quiet, and the cool air seems to rejuvenate Light; he glances at you a couple of times before he finally speaks up, "Did something happen?"

You clench your fingers into a fist, pressing it against your heart, "No . . . nothing happened."

It would be wise to turn the conversation back on him; to not give him a chance to start wondering about you, to give him space to forget everything properly.

But you can't think of how to ask what you want to know. Light watches you for a long moment, then lets it go, "Maybe I have been working a little too much . . . but still, if you need any help with your math, let me know. I did get . . . "

". . . The top score on all our subjects," you interrupt, "Yes, I know."

Something about the way you say it catches him off guard again; but you're so tired. Maybe you won't even go all the way back home, now that you think about it. There's probably a motel or . . . something that you could stay at instead.

Light catches your shoulder as you stagger; suddenly his breath is warm against your ear, "You didn't have to walk me home, you know."

"Huh?" you jerk back, "No, I mean, I know . . . It seemed rude to just send you out on your own. . . "

"I'll call you a cab when we get there," Light says, smiling warmly, "You shouldn't be walking alone in the dark."

You don't know how to respond to that, so you don't -- but it seems like it's the wrong move; Light doesn't remove his hand from your shoulder, so when he stops walking, he pulls you to a gentle stop as well, "[Name], what's going on?"

"Nothing," you reply, because repeating the story you gave him earlier would be suspicions and strange, and you need him to believe that, at least, need that to slip into the crevices where he doesn't think to question it, "It's nothing."

"How long was I out?" he presses, "It couldn't have been longer than half an hour . . . but you're acting completely different."

"It's nothing," you say again, like if you just keep repeating that maybe he'll believe you; but it's not like it's something you want to explain, either. Not after _that_.

Your head hurts just thinking about it; you feel like you've suddenly aged dramatically in the last few hours, and suppose you can't blame Light for thinking something was up.

There's a pause; you imagine he's trying to think of a new tactic, and decide to throw him a bone, "If you did something bad for the right reasons, but you knew it was gonna make people distrust you, what would you do?"

The words come out in a bit of a rush, and you can't bring yourself to meet his eyes; the palms of your hands are throbbing, like you've been digging your nails into them for the last hour.

Light takes a careful step in front of you, reaching out to grasp your shoulder again -- he's still trying to stabilize you, you realize as he leans forwards.

He looks concerned.

It almost seems real.

"Are you in trouble, [Name]?" he asks; his breath floats against your lips, warm in the cool night air, and he stares at you earnestly, waiting for your answer.

"Are you?" you reply, reflexively, "Just. . . just hypothetically speaking. Like, if you . . . if you liked someone you knew you shouldn't like."

It's not the trouble you're in -- not exactly. It's more like, _what if you were so alone that not being friends with a mass murderer would feel lonely_ , it's more like, _what if the only hearts you were good at collecting were rotten ones, ones belonging to someone else_.

But you figure that's safe -- until something flickers in Light's eyes; until his lips twitch for just a split second, carefully smoothed over because he's a liar and he just thought up a good one.

"I think sometimes you have to just follow your heart," he says, and reaches up to brush a strand of your hair back behind your ear.

For a crazy second, you want to match him in his lies -- you consider telling him, with a tearful voice and a tremor, that Cherry had told you she was in love with Hideki. What would he do then? Would he be angry? Would he feel foolish?

Would you get a black heart of your own?

But you're not hear to collect black hearts. You're supposed to be getting red or pink hearts, yellow if you're really desperate.

"Right," you say, and try to sort that into your head. If someone is lying when they give you advice -- if they're trying to manipulate you with it -- then should you flip it around?

Take the opposite advice? Or should you find a way to apply that advice in a way they wouldn't like?

Following your heart . . . what does that even mean, anyway? It's too abstract.

Light watches you for a moment, and then smiles, tousling your hair, "As long as you're not in danger, don't worry about it too much, okay?"

Would he be saying that if he knew you were talking about him?

Still, you force a smile, "Alright. I'll do my best."


	11. note eight | coffee break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live. I'm very sorry about the unexpected hiatus; my brain was trying to figure out the pacing for this in the background while I worked on another project (which my brain is now trying to figure out coding for in the background while I work on this project? You know.)
> 
> Also, I have been misusing the chapter summary section? I'm sorry about that. Technology isn't my strong point.

The council is not understanding.

Your handler is waiting for you when you return home; a long legged fellow, handsome and soft-spoken, who is not normally given to the sorts of expressions he is making at the door way when you open it.

His name is Merlin, and he makes a living schmoozing with the neglected wives of politicians. Sometimes he sleeps around with them, but a lot of the time he just flirts, and watches their husbands writhe with jealousy, and honestly it's a little ironic that he wastes no time using magic to bind your wrists.

On the outside, the bindings look like ribbons; from inside of them, they're cold as the handcuffs humans use on their own criminals.

"[Name]," Merlin says tiredly, "You're being recalled to the magical world on suspicion of dabbling in dark magic. Do you have anything to say to yourself?"

How could you?

"I'm sorry," you offer, half-heartedly, "I didn't mean to."

"Two black hearts in less than a week?" Merlin seems doubtful, but a moment later his expression softens, "Cherry has explained the circumstances, but I'll still need to take you before the council."

It suddenly seems a bit too quiet in the apartment. Being bound and confined was nothing new to you, so it hadn't quite sunk in then, but the mention of Cherry brings the reality into harsh focus, "Where. . . where is Cherry?"

"She's gone on ahead," Merlin replies; his hand moves, and the world around you suddenly begins to fade, as well as the creeping sense of panic -- it's almost peaceful, now, "Your arrival will reflect well on her."

\--

That's the last you hear about the matter in your apartment. When you come to, it is in a large, glittering auditorium -- the same auditorium where you were sworn in, so to speak, as a Queen's Candidate.

That had been a less public spectacle; you draw into yourself as you become aware of an audience -- an older array of witches gathered in the stands, and one of the Queen's guards in the soapbox.

"Cherry Pai," she is saying, "and [Name] [Surname]. We've brought you here today under suspicion of harnessing dark magic and actively collecting black hearts."

There is a whisper of unease around you, as though the crowd has forgotten why they were summoned.

"That is correct," Cherry says, and the whisper becomes a dull roar at the edge of your hearing, 

"However, [Name] and I remain innocent of any involvement with dark magic."

The guard's eyes go towards you, and you duck your head; Cherry does not seem at all uncomfortable, and continues, with an easy command of the room that belies any sort of pomp or circumstance, "[Name] and I met Kira earlier this evening, and were forced to subdue him. [Name] did this with the acquisition of his heart, which had become black with fear and loathing."

The dull roar now becomes so loud that the guard is forced to bang the surface of her soapbox; the gavel on the striking block is enough to draw the crowd back to silence.

The guard does not seem to know how to respond; Cherry seems to have said her piece, and simply look imperiously at the guard, as though daring for a challenge.

"And how did this come to pass?"

There are no lawyers here, you realize; it really is just you and Cherry being reprimanded, but on display for all of the magical world to see. A spectacle, but a grim one -- and as you become conscious of it, you edge towards Cherry.

She reaches out, grasping your still bound hand and squeezing, "He attends our university, and came to our apartment with notes for [Name] last night. I had been keeping an eye on him due to other suspicious circumstances, but had neglected to tell [Name] about them . . . an oversight I take full responsibility for."

"And those suspicious circumstances were. . . ?" the guard seems a little uncomfortable with this development; with the fact that despite being on trial, Cherry is speaking as though she's in command of the room, and the room is obeying.

"The presence of a death god," Cherry replies.

There is another wave of outrage from the audience behind you. The guard's eyes widen, and she leans forward. Cherry takes that as leave to continue.

"I had noticed a strange energy around campus from the beginning of our term -- perhaps because I was on edge from the attack last week. Three days ago, I had saved up enough ecrure to purchase a pair of contact lenses that would allow me to see the unseen. When I began wearing them, I was able to spot the source of this energy at once. Over the next two days, I observed that it was tailing after a specific student, but as I was unable to determine its purpose, I kept my observations to myself.

"However, finding him in our home this afternoon, I confronted him about the death god following him and his connection to the Kira case, and it became evident quickly that he is in fact Kira -- evidence that was cemented when the death god informed him that neither [Name] nor myself were subject to his method of killing, and he resorted to violence in order to silence me."

The world feels like it suddenly tips.

Light's kind smile does not feel kind anymore.

What had you been thinking as you walked him home? Something about being friends with him? Something about what a heavy burden he was bearing?

Had he really been trying to kill Cherry?

The guard is saying something; someone is approaching you, and you are dimly aware of 

Merlin's restraints being removed from your wrists, before Cherry's voice fades back into focus.

" . . . All I know is that he requires the name of those he kills," she's saying, "It's possible that he could aquire the power to gather those names through supernatural means later, but I'm not sure. Whatever supernatural powers he has will not affect denizens of the magical world, however -- it seems it only applies to humans."

"One of the notebooks," someone in the crowd calls, "Death gods have notebooks that they use to harvest human lives."

"Why would they give something like that to a human?" someone else argues.

The guard bangs the gavel down.

"Order," she snaps, and waits for things to simmer down; when they do, she continues, "Given the extenuating circumstances, the court will once again overlook the transgressions of [Name] on the matter of black hearts. However, you will both stay away from Kira, and you will not involve yourselves in human affairs anymore than is proper. Whatever the death gods are planning has nothing to do with the magical world. They depend on humans as much as we do, and I doubt there is much a lone death god will do to the world at large."

"Kira has already made a sweeping impact --" Cherry begins, but the guard holds up a hand to silence her.

"Our Queen Candidates will concern themselves with the Queen's contest, and nothing else," she says, "For the good of the Magical World, we need you two to keep yourselves safe."

Cherry bows her head. It may be the only concession she's made during this whole trial.

You bow your head as well, though it's mostly to keep people from staring at you.

Staying away from Light Yagami?

As though you need to be told again.

\--

You need a little extra caffeine the next day, so after your first class, you duck out to find something, relieved when you come across a little vending machine selling iced coffees en route to your next class.

As you're straightening up from buying one, something cuts into your kinetic bubble -- the hair raises on the back of your neck, and you swear for a moment you can feel the pressure of someone's presence right behind you -- and your body, taut with the stress of the last few hours, lack of sleep and the sinking realization that the human world was not safe, reacts without any conscious input from your brain.

Your can of iced coffee goes rolling across the corridor as your brain processes what just happened:

First, the person who's snuck up behind you was Hideki Ryuga.

Second, you had swung your elbow back to where his gut would (probably) have been; at the same time as you did this, he had swerved out of the way, his leg going up to counter attack, and his foot, shod in his dirty, worn down sneakers that barely counted for shoes, had knocked your coffee out of your hand.

Third, the coffee must have come undone at some point, because it is pooling around the can on the other side of the hall, which you know you will need to clean up before class.

Hideki doesn't seem to know how to respond to what just happened; he looks at you for a moment, then over at the can, but does not apologize. You're not actually sure, at this point of time, if he is capable of apologizing at all.

Slowly, he looks back to you.

"I was wondering if you'd be in school today," he says, "I heard a rumor you were out sick the other day."

Reaching up, he scratches the back of his head, an awkward gesture to match the awkward atmosphere, "I wanted to apologize for the other day. I've been thinking about what you said, and . . . you were right. I was jealous that Yagami-kun was having such an easy time making friends, and I took it out on you. Can I buy you a coffee to make up for it?"

Somewhere, there is a voice in the back of your head screaming at you to abort.

There is, further back, another voice that wants to offer up a snappy comeback -- like that he'd just kicked your coffee to the other side of the hallway.

Neither of those voices quite manage to make it out of your head, though.


End file.
